


Surrounded but You're All I See

by gooffgun



Category: Babii, Thai Actor RPF, offgun
Genre: Christmas Party, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute, Neighbors, Opposites Attract, Short & Sweet, Strangers to Lovers, family friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:41:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28030320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooffgun/pseuds/gooffgun
Summary: The Phunsawat family holds an annual Christmas party every 24th of December. Godji Phunsawat befriended a new family in the neighborhood, inviting them to the party. Gun, an outgoing kid who loves the party so much, meets the kid who's sitting quietly in a corner away from people. Off, the shy introverted one, wants to ditch the party. But will he still ditch it if he finds it endearing to be with the sweet persistent boy?
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> There will be tons of characters and side couples here that I probably wouldn't be able to give justice for since my main is OffGun, so I apologize in advance. I want to include my friends faves here. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as much as I'm thinking about it.
> 
> The scenarios here don't reflect on the actors' real lives. These are all fictional.
> 
> The next chapter is the real deal. This is just the sort of introduction.

The Phunsawat family has always been one of biggest families in the neighborhood. They are well known for their annual Christmas party every 24th of December. Their big house could accommodate 4 extended families in their living room _alone_. A Christmas in the neighborhood wouldn’t be complete without them hosting a party. 

By December, the whole house is decorated with lights, golden and festive decorations, big and small. The house would look like a whole Christmas village. The house isn’t really that big but with the illusion of a high ceiling house, it looked more humongous. The kids wake up to the smell of hot chocolate drink everyday, accompanied with freshly baked chocolate cookies. The whole house blasting Christmas songs from dawn to dusk. It is impossible to not feel the Christmas spirit in their house alone.

Gun, growing up with this tradition, enjoys parties in a whole new way. He liked entertaining guests. He kinda grew through it already. By doing so, he met his best of friends in the neighborhood. He and his friends spend their December mornings in Gun’s house, eating chocolate chip cookies first thing in the morning then watch Christmas movies in Earth’s house until the sun sets then they’d have early dinner in PP’s house and proceed to carol around the neighborhood. This is their tradition.

Gun’s cousins would sleep in their house by December. They’d lay fluffy blankets and big pillows on the living room floor in their pajamas then they’d watch movies on the huge TV screen. Sometimes they use that time to catch up on each other, telling stories and laughing at their foolishness. Sometimes they’d fall asleep there and they’d wake up with the smell of hot chocolate filling their nostrils. The morning will be a great day for them already. 

Gun looks forward to this event more today. He feels that this year’s party will be better than the previous ones even though it’s just the same party over and over again.

**. . .**

December 1.

Gun slowly opens his eyes to the blinding light escaping from curtains in their room. He embraces his white comforter because of the cold breeze that’s starting to creep in. He sees his three siblings still sleeping soundly. Chimon and First sleeping together in one bed while Ciize has her own in a cute pink corner. Gun gets out of the bed, fixing it first before going down the stairs.

From the stairs above he can hear his mom chattering to a woman and chuckling. He can hear other tiny voices, mostly coming from girls too. The big staircase was a bit too big for small Gun so by the time he got down the stairs, the visitors already bid their goodbyes, now behind the huge brown doors.

“Oh, Gun! You’re a bit late today, aren’t you?” His mom kisses his cheeks and goes straight to the kitchen to prepare Gun’s breakfast. Gun sits at the stool chair in front of the counter table.

“Yeah, my sleep was too comfortable,” Godji puts the plate with waffles and whipped cream in front of Gun which Gun indulged in right away. “Who were you talking to earlier, by the way?” 

“Ooh, a new family moved in the neighborhood. I invited them to come at the annual party,” Gun’s eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. He loves it when there’s new people. He’s now stoked just thinking about the upcoming party. “Also, Tay and your other cousins are on the way here.”

Gun’s eyes widened, quickly stuffing the waffles in his mouth and drinking the hot milk Godji prepared for him. Godji rolls her eyes to her son in quick pace. Gun almost burned his tongue but he endured the pain so he can take a bath right way before his cousins arrive. Gun runs to the stairs.

“Gun, be careful. I swear to God if you trip I’m-” and Gun tripped halfway the staircase. Godji covered her face in embarrassment.

“I’m okay!” Gun comes back from his fall, raising an okay sign before climbing again. Godji chuckles in her son’s foolishness.

One thing Gun loves is spending time with his cousins whenever he had a chance to. He loves it when he’s surrounded with people he loves so much. It’s also one of the reasons why he loves parties. He took no time in taking a bath. Before they even knew it, Gun’s done. His siblings are still sleeping. Was he that fast or his siblings are just too sleepy? Gun went down the stairs again to wait for his cousins in the living room. Godji was shocked to see her son done real quick.

“Gun, be honest, did you really take a bath?” Godji scrutinized her eyes, giving Gun a suspicious look.

“Of course!” Gun faked a disheartened look towards his mom. 

“Whatever. I ain’t smelling you,” Godji proceeded to cook in the kitchen. 

It seems like Gun’s ears were like animal’s because even from afar he already heard the screeching tires of cars. He sprinted towards the door immediately. He opened the grand door to see his cousins all gathered in the foyer outside.

“P’Tay!” The kid shouted. He immediately hugged his closest cousin Tay who’s only a year older than him. Then Tay’s younger siblings Billkin and Bright. Gun’s not really close with the two unlike his bond with Tay. And lastly, Gun’s two younger cousins, Love and Puimek who are siblings as well. 

After the greetings, they decided to come in. The four youngsters sat peacefully in the living room couch while Tay went straight to the kitchen to greet his Aunt Godji. 

“You guys are here already? Well, suit yourself. I made some waffles here. Come and get some,” Puimek and Billkin went to get some, their siblings gesturing to get some for them too. “Gun, call you siblings. It’s almost noon now.”

Gun was about to climb up when his siblings went down one by one. 

“P’Tay!” Chimon shouted from above and run quickly to hug one of his favorite brothers, which Tay just chuckled in response. 

“Pui! Love!” Ciize, radiating his twins energy, embraced her best friends aka Love and Puimek. The three went to talk immediately, Ciize inviting them to her room. She has her own room but sometimes she sleeps with her brothers when she feels lonely.

“Ciize, let them eat first. You too,” Godji pointed to First and Chimon. 

First went to catch up first with his closest cousins, Bright and Billkin, before deciding to just eat together with them. Chimon went beside First’s seat in the table, in front of Billkin and Bright’s while Love and Puimek sat beside them. Ciize sat on the center seat while Gun sat beside Tay who’s beside Chimon. The nine ate late breakfast together, Gun eating again because he said the waffles earlier weren’t enough.

“Mom, did you invite Khun Arm and Khun Alice to the party, too?” Gun asked.

“Of course. They’ll bring their kids too.”

The kids eyes smiled from ear to ear. Chimon and Bright’s smiles were different though. It was more subtle yet the power of it can be felt immediately. 

“Hey, mom, when will we pick for Secret Santa?” The kids are now in the living room watching cartoons while Godji prepares for lunch.

“Ooh, I almost forgot about that. How about we do it tomorrow? Remind me to go to Alice and Jennie. Tay, tell your parents to be here tomorrow at lunch.”

“Got it! I’ll call Puimek and Love’s too.”

“Thank you, Tay.”

“Mom, can I go to Earth’s?” Gun asked, aimed to the door because he knows his mom will allow him anyway.

“Why don’t you invite them for lunch?” Fair point, Gun thought.

“Okay. I’ll go now!” 

Gun goes to Earth’s house that’s just across their house. Gun knocks on their door and Earth’s mom greeted him.

“Gun! Earth’s still dressing up. You can wait here inside.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Namwirote,” Gun was about to come inside but Earth was walking down the stairs already. Earth went to the doorway where Gun and Mrs. Namwirote are.

“Hey, mom said to invite you to lunch.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Let’s call the rest, too. You go to Fluke’s, I’ll go to PP’s.”

“Copy,” Earth said. “Mom, we’ll have lunch in Gun’s house.”

“Okay, take care! If you plan to do something after, make sure to be home by 5, okay?” Earth’s mom said.

“Yes, mom. We’ll go now. Bye!” Earth kisses his mom’s cheeks and went out with Gun.

The two separated ways. Gun went to the right while Earth went on the opposite way. PP’s house is just a few houses away. Gun can see PP sitting on their pavement outside their house even from afar.

“What are you doing there?” Gun greeted PP.

“Can’t I?” PP rolled his eyes jokingly. “I wanted a fresh air. How about you? What brings you here?”

“I was about to go to Earth’s when mom invited you guys for lunch. My cousins arrived, too.”

“Cousin?!” PP jumped from his seat like a jack in a box when he heard the word cousins. Gun’s face went from confused to super confused, looking at PP so weirdly.

“You’re weird.” Gun scowled.

“I think I ate too much today,” PP reasoned. “So, let’s go to lunch?”

Gun stared at him in a disowning way. “It’s literally 11 am, PP.”

“Why? Can’t we have an early lunch?”  
“Here I thought you said you ate too much,” Gun rolled his eyes. “Let’s go, weirdo.”

“So, is P’Tay there?” PP opened the conversation while they walk side by side on the way to Gun’s house.

“Yeah.”

“And Bright?”

“Yeah.”

“What about… Billkin?” PP stared at Gun, anticipating for an answer.

“Yeah. Why did you ask?”

”Nothing,” Gun didn’t remove his eyes from PP. “Fine. I missed them.”

Gun halted from walking, raised his eyebrow, and crossed his arms, still not removing his scrutinizing look at PP. 

“Fine. I wanna know how your cousins are doing.”

“’Cousins?’”

“Cousin! Okay! Billkin,” PP rolled his eyes, but deep down inside he was trying to hide the smile forming from his lips. 

“I knew it,” Gun hit PP’s arm which PP winced at. “You only go to our house when they’re there.”

“Hey! That’s not true,” Gun raised his brows. “Okay, well maybe some.”

“Whatever. You walk so slow! They’re probably done eating lunch now.”

”Shut it. You’re exaggerating.”

**. . .**

“Hey, Auntie Godji, mom said they can’t come tomorrow so they’ll just come today,” Tay said while looking at his phone.

The kids are all gathered in the living room watching an animated movie. Gun and his friends plus Ciize are sitting on the right couch while his cousins and other siblings are on the left. The two couches separated by meters if combined would form a letter U but instead of a curve, it has corners.

“Oh, okay. I’ll call Alice and Jennie to inform them about the changes. Thank you, Tay.”

“Mom, who’s Khun Jennie?” Chimon asked though his eyes didn’t leave the TV screen.

“Haven’t I told you about the new family in the neighborhood?” The kids shook their heads in unison.  
“Well, I invited them for the party. Jennie’s a trusted a friend of mine back in high school. If you guys get hungry, I prepared snacks in the fridge. Some snacks are in the pantry too. Leftover waffles are on the table. Tay, you’re in charge. I’ll go to Jennie’s. Take care, kids. No one will go out until I come back.”

“Yes,mom.”

“Yes, aunt!”  
“Copy, Mrs. Phunsawat!”

The kids remained on their respective seats, all too hooked at the movie they’re watching aside from Bright and Billkin went to the kitchen, Earth plays with Ciize’s hair, Chimon and First are now arguing about the characters while Tay keeps an eye on everyone from time to time.

“Aw, he went away,” PP said.

“PP! Cut the stares! I’m guessing Billkin felt it that’s why they went to the kitchen,” Gun whispered to PP who’s sitting beside him.

“So you agree?”

“Agree to what?”

“That I have that effect on him,” PP raised his brow while smirking.

“Get a grip, PP,” Gun rolls his eyes.

“Tell him to stop being cute then I’ll stop,” PP smirked. “Also, no. Don’t stop him. Please.” Then he shook his head and clasp his hands together like a kid begging for their parents to buy the toy they saw in the toy store.

“PP, I love you but you’re weird,” Gun smiled.

**. . .**

The sun was setting . The sun creeps out from the curtains of the floor to ceiling window in the living room. The kids are watching a new movie now. Some went to play instead like Ciize who invited her sisters in her room while some remained watching like Gun’s friends and younger brothers. Godji had arrived from her visit in Jennie’s house 30 minutes ago, alongside Gun’s cousins’ and friends’ parents. The honk of the horn outside the house indicated that the visitors has arrived. 

“Gun, can you assist the guests?” Godji said from the kitchen.

“Got it, mom,” Gun did not hesitate. He got out of his seat immediately and welcomed the guests. Gun was greeted by Arm and Alice’s family, including the three kids he used to play with before.

“Hi, Gun!” The couple greeted, kissing he younger from cheek to cheek. 

“P’Gun!” Win, Nanon, and Jane all greeted in unison. The kids embraced him like they haven’t seen them for a long time. The two tall young boys covered the whole of Gun’s frame. Jane hugged him (more like squeeze) the last. 

“P’Gun! I missed you!” Jane exclaimed.

“I missed you, too. You too, Nanon and Win,” Gun puts his arms around the three. “Come inside! The others are there.”

The four finally went inside. The movie once playing earlier was now a background music for the crowd gathering right now. Chatters and mumbles dominated around the house. It seemed like they did really miss each other. Kids smiled from ear to ear from seeing their friends. Some smiled in a different way. Like they were seeing the love of their lives for the first time all over again like Chimon and Bright. The girls from upstairs probably sensed that their other friends are here that the started rushing downstairs. Jane coincidentally looked up on the staircase. She was glad she did because she felt like she might have seen the most gorgeous person to ever exist. Jane blushed too much that she had to look away. The adults and kids seemed to have their own worlds catching up with their friends. The scenario lasted for a couple of minutes before Godji decided to break it.

“Okay, let’s start picking for the Secret Santa. We’re still waiting for another family though. They’ll be late a little since they’re only dropping by because they still have errands to do.” 

Godji handed out the box with folded papers she prepared earlier to be passed. They each picked one by one. Some returned the paper because they got their names like Tay.

“Auntie! I got myself,” Tay’s the oldest yet he looked like a baby when he pouted. The others chuckled. Godji let him pick another one which Tay did not return anymore. They continue picking papers from the box until it ended on Gun. He picked a folded paper from the box. He slowly unfolded it and he saw Chimon’s name on it. Gun smiled showing his dimples and slightly chuckling. This one will be easy, he thought.

“I have prepared dinner already. You guys can eat while we’re waiting for Jennie’s family,” Godji announced, inviting the adults in the kitchen so the kids can have their time playing and talking to their friends.

The chattering continues. The adults stayed in the kitchen, talking about business and adult life. Ciize’s playing with her sisters, including Jane. Jane’s slightly nervous because it means talking to her. Chimon brought out his nerf guns and stuck targets on different parts of the living room’s walls. Ciize saw it so she decided to play with them instead. She invited her other sisters but Love declined, playing with Ciize’s doll instead, Puimek agreed to join her while Jane’s torn. She decided to sit there with Love anyway. Love frowned a bit but she didn’t show it. Jane noticed it so she played with her instead. Bright and Tay sat beside them. Bright grabbed another doll and played with its hair while talking to Love. Tay didn’t run out of things to say to them. Jane laughs at Tay’s funny remarks from time to time. 

Gun’s friends went home already after the Secret Santa picking. Gun played with Chimon and his other cousins. They all got nerf guns. Chimon stated the rules. Since a lot decided to play, he decided to just play ‘tag! you’re it” but with guns. They have to hide and the who gets shot will be removed from the game until all participants are out. Chimon picked the tag randomly by muttering a song and the person who gets to be picked will be saved from being the tag until there are two left. Though the boys were excited to play, Ciize was stoked the most. She looked like she’s about jump out of excitement all the time. Win’s the tag. He counted from 1 to 20 for the others to look for somewhere to hide. The game was chaotic but it didn’t stop them. Few minutes later, almost everybody got tagged except for Ciize and Gun. They both got out of their hide spots and now looking for each other. Gun saw Ciize but Ciize shot him first while Gun still fumbles for the toy gun’s trigger. Gun almost threw a tantrum while Ciize celebrates for her victory with her cousins. The game was really fun and exhausting for them so they decided to just stay in the living room. The kids were circled on the floor, now playing jenga blocks. 

“Gun, sweetie, can you please get the small paper bag on my bedside table in my room?” Godji interrupted their discussion.

“What color is that?” Gun stood up from his seat on the floor.

“Brown. Thank you, honey,” Godji proceeded talking with her friends.

“Okay, mom,” Gun obliged and went to his mom’s room right away. He looked for the paper bag but it wasn’t on the bedside table and other tables in her room, not even on the dresser. Gun opened the door and shouted even though it’ll be unlikely for him to be heard. “Mom, I can’t find it! It’s not on the bedside table.”

“It’s just around there! Can you look for it, please?” Godji shouted back.

Gun proceeded to search for the paper bag. He looked for it in drawers and cabinets. It took him a few minutes before spotting it under the bed. 

“I got it!” Gun greeted when he came down. 

“Thank you, sweetie,” Godji hugged him. “Oh, you just missed Jennie’s family! But they just dropped off. They just picked quickly and bid goodbyes because they still have somewhere to go to. The dinner’s served. Just eat when you want to, okay?”

 _Oh, okay. I really wanted to see them. But it’s fine. I’ll see them at the party anyway_ , Gun thought.

Gun nodded and joined his cousins and friends. They proceeded to play. It was Gun’s turn now. While trying to concentrate getting a block without the tower wobbling, Ciize expresses her thoughts.

“Khun Jennie’s daughters are so pretty! The look like real life Barbie dolls,” the others agreed and nodded. 

“Yeah. And her younger son seems really cool, too,” Tay added which everyone agreed to.

“Though he looks a bit quiet, I’m pretty sure he’s cool,” First exclaimed.

“I can’t wait to be friends with Khun Jennie’s daughters! They seem to be really kind and fun to be with.”

Gun keeps his focus on getting the block and putting it on the top. It seemed like he missed a lot even if he did not. _It’s not like I’ll never see them again. There’s still the 24th. We might even meet each other in a better way_ , he thought.


	2. D-Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, this will be a loooooong one. Please hang on tight. :)

December 24.

If the decorations were festive already by December 1st, Godji made sure their house is three times more festive in December 24, especially in her party. The red and golden decorations stood out in the modern theme of the house. The white colors of the wall lit up the room even without Christmas lights. The Christmas spirit is very much present. Bunch of Christmas songs were queued in speaker’s surround-system.

The sun rises and the Phunsawats’ kitchen is busy already. Maids are cooking hand in hand different varieties of food. Though Godji can do it herself, she still needs to entertain the guests. The party won’t even start until evening but she wanted to do everything now so she wouldn’t have to deal with it later. She has to make everything more presentable especially with the new guests. Every year, she outdoes her Christmas parties. She makes sure this year would be even better than the previous ones. 

It’s quarter to seven and Gun’s wide awake already. A smile instantly formed from his lips the moment he woke up. Aside from Christmas itself, his mom’s parties are the ones he look forward to the most. He got up from his bed and took a shower already. When he was done, he picked a bright red oversized button down shirt he planned to wear for this party months ago and paired it with black shorts and white sneakers. Gun got his white sneakers and brought it outside just in time when Ciize knocks on the door.

“Oh, you’re awake already?” Gun asked.

“Yes. You’re not the only one excited,” Ciize’s smile shone brighter than Gun’s red shirt. “I couldn’t sleep last night!”

Gun followed his sister going down the stairs. Ciize’s wearing a red sleeveless dress that hugged her body perfectly like the dress was exactly made for her. Her shiny brown hair was down and gold headband was placed neatly on it.

“How many hours did you sleep?”

“Three?” Ciize sheepishly smiled. Gun laughed.

“Oh you’ll be down before nine in the evening,” Gun stated confidently.

“No, I won’t,” Ciize countered. “How confident are you?”

“100 percent sure. Wanna bet on it?” Gun smirked.

“Deal. Loser gives another gift to the winner,” Ciize smirked back.

“Can we chose what gift should we receive?”

“Nope.”

“What dumb game is this?!”

“The gift should be reasonable, okay?” Ciize rolled her eyes. “No breaking of rules.”

Gun’s a fighter but Ciize fights better. It’s always them betting on together. The siblings who used to fight the most shows. Halfway down the staircase, they can smell the varieties of food. Savory scent filled their noses. The delectable smell of meals were overpowering. The siblings run down quickly as the smell made them more hungry.

“Good morning! You guys are up early,” Godji kisses her kids on their cheeks.

“We smelled the food,” Ciize kid.

Godji chuckles. “What do you guys want for breakfast?”

“Pancakes!”

“Fried rice and sweet and sour stir fried chicken,” Gun answered.

Godji gave them their food and the kids ate in peace. Puimek and Love followed. The kids came down one by one. Tay came down last, still yawning and rubbing his eyes. They all ate breakfast together.

Gun’s past weeks with his cousins were exhausting but fun. They would sometimes play the whole day or either watch movies. One day, Godji taught them all how to bake and they had a mini baking contest hosted by Godji herself. The kitchen was a mess but it was surely fun. Another day, they all decided to swim in the pool even if the breeze was so cold, indicating the cold December feels. The next day they were lying on their respective beds, sneezing and blowing their nose out, watching movies the whole day, eating warm chicken soup and drinking hot chocolate milk. They went to shop for gifts one day. Chimon almost got lost because he was eyeing one comic book that he didn’t realize the rest got off the store already. They laughed about it in the car on the way home. Each day were entertaining for them.

After eating, they decided to wrap their gifts up to put it under the huge Christmas tree in the living room. The day after they went shopping for gifts, Gun asked his mom to take him back to the store where Chimon was eyeing the comic book. They bought it and now Gun’s wrapping the comic book for Chimon. He bought respective gifts for his friends and relatives and cute socks for everybody in addition. Gun had gifts for everyone. He doesn’t want anybody to be left out. He never missed a gift for anyone. Gun didn’t have a hard time wrapping gifts that’s why finished early. There’s still few more hours before lunch so he decided to watch Home Alone, his favorite Christmas movie, in the living room. It’s one of the movies he liked as a kid so it’s automatically his favorite. When some of his cousins were done wrapping their gifts, they joined Gun in watching the movie.

When noon came, they all ate pasta and some rice meal together for lunch while Christmas songs filled their ears in the background. After lunch, Gun instantly felt nervous for the reason he doesn’t know. He knew there would be more people in the party later but it was never a problem to him. He likes crowds so what he’s being nervous for is unknown to him. _Maybe something bad will happen_ , he thought. 

_Nope, nope. It’s nothing. Just shrug it off._

It was three in the afternoon and Gun did instantly forget about the nervous feeling. It’s probably just a sister feeling of excitement. A small space between the kitchen and living room is used as a stage. A microphone stand stood in the middle of it with some speakers beside it. Godji asked the boys to set it up and the girls helped, too, just in time for the arrival of guests. Visitors came one by one, starting from Gun’s friends across the neighborhood. 

“Merry Christmas! I’ll give you your gift tomorrow,” Fluke greeted Gun.

The house was packed by four o’clock. The Chansook family had arrived. Gun immediately went towards the three siblings looking good in green who just got in the house.

“Merry Christmas, P’!” They greeted right when they saw Gun.

“Merry Christmas!” 

“I’ll give you your gift now but you have to open it tomorrow, okay?” Jane in a dark green tank top and white shorts said and handed out a paper bag with Christmas design to Gun. 

“Thank you! Mom baked brownies and cookies earlier. Go get some before P’Tay knock them all out,” Gun suggested.

“Brownies!” Jane’s mouth watered just by hearing the word.

“P’, aren’t you worried that I will be the one to knock them all out?” Win grinned mischievously. The young one looked attractive in just simple plain green shirt and white jeans.

“Not if I eat them all first,” Gun said which made them all sprint towards the kitchen. Gun and the three had a race. They fought over Godji’s baked goods. Gun gave way because his mom can do it anytime for him anyway. He let the kids fought over the desserts.

Gun knows most of his mom’s friends. Godji found him in the crowd and took the opportunity to introduce Gun to Jennie. Gun exchanged wais with the woman. Gun’s attention was called by different people so he excused himself from them. He’s been introduced to some of the elders and adults in the party before so when they greeted him, he returned it in an instance. If he feels like he haven’t been interacting with them for a long time, he approaches them first and ask how they’ve been. He greeted and talked with almost every single person like a candidate running for politics. He checks up on his cousins who are talking to kids their same age. 

After catching up with people, Gun sat at the last step on their stairs with PP, Earth, and Fluke, overlooking the living room and the people in it. Visitors had stop arriving by five. Chimon was smiling from ear to ear talking to Nanon and Ohm, his other friend in the neighborhood. Win’s talking to Tay and his brothers near the kitchen counter. Puimek, Love, Ciize, and Jane are talking to each other in one of the couches in the living room. Adults are everywhere while standing and chattering. There are other visitors from the neighborhood. The party’s open for the family’s friends in the neighborhood though the Secret Santa is open for their close friends only. There are some people Gun can’t recognize and some who he can identify but don’t interact much. The living room is filled with the color of white, red, and green. Some oldies danced to the jazzy Christmas songs which the group of friends just chuckled at its cuteness.

“Gun, your cousin really looks good especially in all white. Look how he cares about his younger cousins, too!,” PP pouted. Bilkin is now looking over Ciize’s small group. Though they are in their own home, crime is inevitable.

“You’re still not over Billkin?” Gun laughed.

“I am serious here!” PP whined. “Plus, how can I get over _that_?” 

“PP rarely likes someone. Let’s give him this,” Fluke comforted PP.

“Gun, have you thought of your Christmas gift for me yet?” PP asked.

“Why?”

“Because I thought of one,” Gun looked at PP suspiciously, eyes squinting.

“What is it?”

“Be my wingman,” PP pleaded to Gun with the puppy eyes. He clasped his hands together and shook Gun’s arms. “Please?”

Gun, held his chin and pretended to think . “I’ll think about it.”

“Really?!” PP exclaimed. “Thank you, Gun!” 

PP put his arms around Gun. Gun never really thought of it but the way PP’s eyes shine when he said it is making him double think.

Tay came to their way with a glass of orange juice on his left hand.

“Gun, do you know who that is?” Tay pointed at a kid around Gun’s age wearing white shirt and sitting on the couch alone.

“Yes. That’s New, our neighbor. Why?”

“Nothing. He looks ugly,” Tay said that made Gun frown. Gun’s friends almost face-palmed.

“Really, P’Tay? That’s it? You came all the way here to say that?”

“Maybe,” Then Tay walked out out the scene.

“That’s rude, by the way!” Gun added.

The group of friends looked at each other and laughed at the same time.

“P’Tay is so weird sometimes,” Earth cried.

“Sometimes I don’t get him, but I love him,” Gun said.

“Who are those?” Fluke pointed out the three unknown talking girls with his mouth. The three looked at the direction Fluke was pointing at.

“Oh, I haven’t seen them before. Mom mentioned a new family in the neighborhood. They’re probably the daughters of Khun Jennie.”

“They’re really pretty. They look fun to be with, too,” PP stated. The tallest is wearing white turtleneck shirt and white slacks, another one is wearing red button down long sleeved shirt and white jeans, and the last one, the shortest, is wearing a red rompers and long white cardigan. A small girl wearing a dark green jumpsuit is also with them.

“And their outfits are bomb,” Earth pointed out which the three all agreed on.

The first few hours of the party is meant for socializing and eating. Visitors are free to roam around the kitchen and living room. The real party will start when Godji starts talking on the microphone in the small stage.

“Hey, Gun. I’ll just go to my mom,” Earth said. Gun nodded and smiled with his dimples out.

“I’ll get some snacks. What do you want?” PP stood up from his seat.

“I’m fine. Thanks,” Gun said. PP nodded and went to the kitchen.

Gun thinks he’s better off looking over the people. He can see how people are having a good time. Smiles and laughs filling the room is something that feels good to see. His all too friendly sister has now recruited new people in her group. The three girls and a small girl earlier are now laughing with them. He realized he haven’t been socializing like the usual. He decided to check up on them, also to introduce himself to the new people.

Gun walked up to them.

“You’re having fun, aren’t you?” Gun said to Ciize and held her head.

“Yes! I made new friends!” Ciize’s smiling from ear to ear. It shows how much she’s having fun with new sisters around her.

“Hi! I’m Gun. I’m her brother and son of Godji. Welcome to the neighborhood, by the way!” Gun smiled that showed his dimples and extended his arms to the girls who looked intimidating.

“Hi! I’m Mild. It’s nice to meet you,” the girl in red rompers and white cardigan said.

“I’m Baifern,” the girl in red button down long sleeves and white jeans smiled.  
“Hello! I’m Namtaan. I’m the oldest,” the one in all white stated.

“I thought you guys were the same age,” Gun was shocked to know about that. The three chuckled.

“She’s 18,” Baifern said. “She’s 15 and I’m 16.”

“I hope you don’t mind we brought our younger cousin here,” Mild said.

“Hey, it’s fine!” Gun said. “What’s her name?”

“She’s Film. She’s a bit shy. It’s a good thing Ciize approached her first or else we wouldn’t be here,” Namtaan stated and chuckled after.

“I hope you guys have fun! See you around the neighborhood,” Gun said.

“Thank you. I hope we see you around, too. It was nice to meet you, Gun!” Baifern said.

“They have food in the kitchen. Get some because the party won’t start sooner,” Gun adviced. “I’ll go now.”

“Yes, thank you!”

Gun went to the kitchen to get some bowl and put some pigs in the blanket in it. He returned to their seat in the staircase.

“Good! I need to pee,” Fluke said the moment Gun returned and left to rush to the bathroom.

Gun sat on the step and bit on his food. He looked at the crowd and a boy wearing dark green button down shirt tucked inside a cream-colored slacks caught his sight immediately. He was sitting on a small round chair in the corner. He looked like he’s more bored than bored.

Gun decided to stand up again and approach the boy.

“Hi! I’m Gun,” Gun extended his arms to the boy in the corner. The boy was reluctant whether to return it or not. He stared at the hand in front of him before slowly extending his.

“Off,” he said in his faintest voice, immediately taking his hand back.

“Why are you sitting there in the corner? The party is all around the living room and not in one place,” Gun sat on the couch next to Off’s seat.

“The party is all around the living room and I want to be in one place that is the corner,” Off said, not bothering to look at Gun. Gun shrugged. 

“You want one?” Gun offered the bowl with finger food. 

Admit it or not, Off was starving already. The food in the party watered his mouth so much. Off took one and munch on it.

“Why are you here if you don’t like parties?”

“My family’s here.”

“Fair point.”

“I wanna go home,” Off said, getting a piece from Gun’s bowl without looking. Gun raised his brow.

“But… what if I make _this_ home?” Gun suggested with an idea on his head lingering around..

“Isn’t this your home already?” Off looked at him weirdly. Gun rolled his eyes.

“Dummy. What if I make this whole set up _your_ home?” Gun said. Off got his point but he was reluctant. In the end, he agreed anyway.

“If you can, then sure,” Off was skeptical, but he agreed anyway. There’s a chance Gun can but Off would choose not to be affected by it.

Gun’s cat smiled appeared on his face. Off looked at him questioningly. Off shook his head in the kid’s determination.

“You have to start with the food. Since the visitors had arrived, I never saw you go around so I assumed you haven’t eaten the food yet. Come and follow me,” Gun stood up and lead the way to kitchen. Off can stay and let the kid go there without him knowing that he wasn’t following, but that would be too rude. He still followed Gun in his defense. He bowed his head down for people to not notice him when he pass by. Just as long as he’s not the center of attention then it’s fine.

Gun grabbed a plate and utensils and handed it out to Off who took it.

“Get as many food as you want. Pick whatever fancies you. The drinks are in the bar area. You sit here,” Gun pointed at the stool in the kitchen counter. Gun crossed his arms and watched Off as he picks food to eat. Off saw the dishes and from the smell and look of it, he already knew he would like it. He got different sorts of pasta, meat, seafood, fried foods, and rice. The food he got didn’t fit in one plate so he handed out the first plate to Gun while he gets another one to put desserts in it. He grabbed three brownie bars, one cookie for each flavors, and a chocolate cupcake. Gun noticed he didn’t get any healthy meal.

“You don’t eat vegetables?” Gun wondered.

“Nope.”

“Eww,” Gun grimaced. _This man have zero taste_ , he thought.

“Stop judging,” Off continued getting food. He went to the bar area and took a glass of orange juice and a cup of hot chocolate. He sat on the stool Gun pointed at earlier. He started eating the food without a word.

“Hey, chill. The food will not go anywhere,” Gun laughed. He felt entertained while watching Off eating. Off succumbs to his small little world of good food, not even minding Gun who’s been laughing at him. Gun finds something about how Off reacts. How his eyes widens when he’s shocked with how the food turned out to be, how his eyes close when he devours and savors the delightful food he was blessed to eat, and how he slowly bites and chews the food to prolong the savory taste lingering in his mouth. Gun feels like he’s watching a show where a chef cooks their own food, then tastes and rates it. Off wanted to eat everything at the same time. He wanted to give every food a place in his tummy.

Off sat in peace eating all the good pleasures in life for a while. Gun just sat there watching Off be in peace. When Off was halfway eating the desserts, he almost barfed and Gun slowly rubs his back while chuckling at Off.

“I told you to take it easy. Here, drink some water,” Gun grabs a glass of water and handed it out to Off.

“I don’t think I can even drink water at this point,” Off rested his back on the kitchen counter while rubbing his stomach. “I feel like I am in food coma.” Off closed his eyes and stayed like that for a while. 

“While you rest, tell me which ones did you like,” Gun put his right elbow on the counter and his chin on the palm of his hand, waiting for Off to answer.

“I really liked the lasagna. God, it was so good. The sauce doesn’t have that much sour taste. It was well balanced with sweetness and saltiness from the cheese. And the cheese! The cheese was so good. The pasta was cooked perfectly. I’m gonna ask mom to ask for your mom’s recipe,” Off explained, still closing his eyes. Although his eyes were closed, Gun can feel the sincerity of emotions Off conveyed through words. 

“Mom can just cook it for you guys. She’d be willing to do so,” Gun smiled. Off didn’t say something. “What else did you like?”

“Ooh! The fish fillet was good. Its meat was juicy and it’s not pure breading unlike most ones that I’ve tasted. I like the brownies, too. It’s has a crisp on the outside and it’s fudge-y and gooey on the inside. And the chocolate chip cookies! It’s chewy and not crispy. I hate crispy cookies.”

 _He still has taste after all_ , Gun thought to himself.

They sat there for a while. While Off was resting, Gun entertained him by asking questions.

“Whose son are you again?”

“Jennie Adulkittiporn.”

“Ooh. Tell me something about your family.”

“Why’d you wanna know about my family?” Off opened his eyes. He straightened up from his seat and looked directly at Gun.

“Because I wanna know more about you guys? If we’re gonna be neighbors, might as well be friends, right?” Gun nodded and smiled. “Why did you guys move here?”

“Mom wanted to be nearer to her workplace. And we wanted to get away from our ugly ass father,” Off clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, okay. I’m not gonna ask more about that,” Gun changed the topic. “Are you alright now? ‘Cause I wanna take you somewhere.” Off sat there for a moment first, speechless and spacing out.

“Off?” Gun tapped him. Off was back from his reverie. The latter inched away from him looked at him suspiciously. His squinted eyes were full of judgment.

“Where will you take me?” Off inched his body away from Gun. Gun laughed at his response and hit him in his arms.

“Chill! We won’t go outside the house premise,” Gun shook his head at Off’s foolish reaction.

“Nah. With your gigantic house? I don’t even know what you guys can store here,” Off thought of something and his body shuddered at it.

“I promise I won’t do something bad!” Off shook his head and moved away from Gun. Gun felt a bit disheartened when Off couldn’t trust him enough. He thought of an idea that somehow eased what he felt. Gun left Off from the kitchen and looked for somewhere in the crowd. When he spotted a glimmering emerald dress in the sea of people, he took no time in approaching the woman in it. Off was confused with Gun’s sudden movement. His gaze followed the little boy in red and was stunned when he found his mom. Off’s body relaxed a bit and decided to watch what Gun will do. Off wasn’t reluctant about Gun himself. He just didn’t want to be involved with anyone. He didn’t want to socialize anymore. 

“Khun Jennie?” Jennie turned around and startled when she saw Gun.

“Oh, Gun. What is it?”

“I was planning to take your son, Off, around the house but he thinks I’ll do something bad to him so I’m asking for your permission to take him for a while. If something bad happens to him, you’ll know it’s me because I’m the one he’s with. I will be fully accountable for it. But I’m really not so I’m just asking permission so you know his whereabouts. If I don’t bring him back before 9 then you can call for help already,” Gun smiled angelically. He did his best to be the cutest so Jennie will allow him. Jennie chuckled at Gun’s efforts which she appreciates. She looked at Off’s direction and Off, who’s watching them, was startled that he almost fell off the chair. He composed himself, looked away and pretended that he wasn’t eavesdropping from afar. When Jennie looked away, Off peaked at them again.

“Sure, it’s fine,” Jennie nodded and patted Gun’s shoulder. “As long as Jumpol is okay with it. Please go easy on him but when turns out to be rude sometimes, call him out. He’s willing to learn. He’s just shy to acknowledge things sometimes.” Gun nodded while taking note of the things Jennie told him. 

“Oh, okay, Khun. I know he’s nice,” Gun smiled.

“He is. Thank you for being patient with him,” Jennie smiled at Gun’s initiative.

“Thank you, Khun! I’ll go now,” Gun waved and left Jennie. When Gun turned, Off looked away again and pretended he wasn’t lipreading what they were saying earlier even if he barely deciphered anything.

“So I let your mom know where will we be going. I said if you’re not back before 9, she can call for help already,” Gun assured Off. Off saw how Gun tried. He didn’t want to be rude by ditching the guy. He gave in and let himself be with him for another hour. _It’s better than sitting in a corner and realize how I have no social life_ , Off thought to himself. _An hour won’t hurt._

“Hm,” Off nodded at him and stood up. “Where are we going anyway?”

“I’ll tour you around the house!” Gun was excited about it. It’s not as if he was boasting how big and luxurious their house is. He always wanted to tell the story inside their house. For Gun, a house is nothing without stories. A house can be a house anytime. But not all houses are home. Alongside the Phunsawat’s pretty home is a story Gun had always loved.

“And how is that supposed to help me?” Off raised his brow and crossed his arms.

“You don’t like parties, right? Then I’m taking you away from the party,” Off laughed in his mind because of how ridiculous the idea is for him. “Let’s start here. This is the kitchen, obviously. This is where my mom cooks when it’s not for big events. We have another kitchen at the back where my mom uses whenever there are tons of dishes to cook. She asks for the maids help if that happens. Though she may not personally cooked the dishes served right now, it’s her recipe anyway.” Though the whole reason of _this_ for Off is absurd, he paid attention Gun stories.

“My mom loves to cook. She’d cook for all her life if she can. She likes feeding us and making us sure we’re full. You can request her anything and she’d cook it for you right away,” Gun moves around while storytelling. It was evident how Gun enjoyed what he was doing. He poured his heart out while storytelling like it was his purpose in life. “But mom never pursued a career centered in cooking. I guess we can love something without actually it becoming our priority. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love it anymore. It’s good that mom enjoys her work right now. It wasn’t something she regretted doing. She sometimes cooks to pass time and sometimes when she’s burnt out from work.”

“Ooh! Another story! The kitchen counter you ate at earlier? It’s the exact place where mom taught me, my siblings, and cousins how to bake. After that she thought of an impromptu baking contest! The loser will not be able to eat mom’s baked goods for a week. Chimon, my brother, didn’t take the class seriously so he was dumbfounded when he learned about the contest. And guess what? He lost. Mom baked everyday for a whole week and it was a torture for Chimon because neither of my cousins and siblings wanted to give him a piece, including me. What can I say? Rules are rules,” Gun shrugged. Off laughed for real. He thinks that it must be fun to have that kind of bond with your siblings and cousins. “The kitchen that time was _such_ a mess! Flour was all over the floor and the counter. We also spent the whole day cleaning. My mom wouldn’t let us get away without cleaning after causing such ruckus. It was only that messy because P’Tay, my cousin, decided to throw flour at everyone and the rest is history.” Admit it or not, Off liked the stories Gun was telling so far.

“Let’s go at the back,” Gun lead the way to the back of the kitchen where the bigger kitchen, laundry room, and the back door are. Gun halted from walking. He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottled water. “I need water. I talk a lot,” Gun said in which Off chuckled at. “Okay, let’s go again,” Gun proceeded to talk about silly stories behind things. He talked about his one summer with his cousins. They played hide and seek and he hid in the laundry room. He was adamant about wanting to be found last that he hid inside the washing machine. His cousins really did not find him. Gun couldn’t get out so he screamed for help until a maid heard him. Off laughed so hard at that story that he had to hold on to his stomach for a while again. He’s almost tearing up from laughing too much. Gun rolled his eyes but he was glad he was making Off happy at some point. Off was startled when Gun took his wrist and run away, dragging him behind his small frame. “Come!” Though Off was bigger than Gun, he couldn’t able to stop the smaller. 

Gun took Off upstairs. Since the stairs are very much evident from the living room, when some visitors saw blurry running figures in their peripheral visions, their sight was caught by two young boys running upstairs. Some ignored it while some, like Gun’s friends, chitchatted about it. They arrived at the top. From the stairs, there are two doors on the left and another two on the right. Gun pointed at the doors of the rooms and stated who owns which room.

“The first room on the left is for the four of us siblings. We have separate rooms but whenever it’s holiday we sleep in one room only because we like watching movies and cartoons together before we sleep. We can’t carry each other to our respective rooms if ever we fall asleep so we just sleep in one room. The other room is Ciize’s. The rooms at the right are Chimon and First’s. My room is beside the guest rooms,” Gun walks to the right where more rooms and the glass door to the balcony are. “My parents’ room is here. Here’s my room and the three other doors are the guest rooms. The balcony’s here. It has an overview of the city and the pool. Now that you know which is our room, I hope you don’t come climbing on our gates in the middle of the night and rob our rooms. Please?” Off laughed at what Gun said. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t,” Off realized Gun was serious about it so he assured Gun and smiled.

“Good. Oh, back then, my siblings and I were playing inside my room. My windows are usually open because it’s hot and the breeze is much more cooler than the fan. One day we were playing inside and it was really windy and the door was shut close. The door knob was always faulty that’s why mom puts a rag between the door and the doorway to keep it ajar. It just so happens that mom was cleaning the rag so it wasn’t able t stop the shutting of the door. Then we were locked inside! The door knob wouldn’t budge. They key to the door is inside my closet so my mom had to swipe a card in between the lock and the doorway. Chimon and First were laughing because we were locked inside. Ciize was sort of panicking because she’s afraid of getting locked in there forever. It was a fun experience, nevertheless.” Gun smiled. His heart warmed as the nostalgic childhood memories he had with his siblings flashed across his mind like it was just yesterday. He liked that he was able to share their stories and reminisce at the same time. Off stayed quiet. He just listened to Gun being a kid again. He understood what Gun was feeling. He had always loved his childhood because of the depth of the moments he had back then. Off felt like Gun telling stories was him bringing his childhood back to life again. “Do you want to go to the balcony?” 

“Sure,” Off shrugged. He wanted to see how bigger can their house get. The crowded living room was suffocating for him in a way. Getting out and having a fresh air after should be good.

Gun slid the door to the balcony. It’s not really a big deal. It was just a plain balcony with wooden floors and black railings. But what ‘s outside is the real deal. The cool night breeze greeted them. Gun loves the feeling of the cold wind at night. It’s different. More refreshing and soothing. It was really calming. Gun closed his eyes and took time to bask in the wind kissing his face. Gun can’t help but to smile and snicker while his eyes are closed. He felt ticklish in a comforting way. Off looked at him and not in a weird, confused way. It was in a way that he understands him. He gets the feeling. He likes the sensation of it, too. Off followed and closed his eyes, too. They both stood there for a moment, just wrapping themselves in the arms of the wind. Gun opened his eyes again and took the initiative to sit by the railings. He sticks his short legs out the spaces of the rails and let it hung there as he sits. Off followed him and did the same. Gun embraced the the rails while staring at the overview of the city. 

“Look at the city lights!” Gun pointed. Off did follow and looked at what Gun was pointing at. The view was devastatingly good combined with the gushing of the breeze in the background. 

“Your mom got the best spot,” Off chuckled.

“I know, right?” Gun laughed and shook his head. “Tell me something about your sisters! They seem really nice.”

“They are,” Off smiled. “They like eating. So much.”

“I can see it runs in the blood,” Gun snickered.

“Oh, I won’t argue with that,” Off chuckled. “They like watching movies, too. If there’s a new movie that they seem to like based on the trailer, they make sure they watch it the first time in the cinema. They got great sense of fashion, too. Lastly, they’re very noisy especially if they’re all together.”

“Ooh, that’s why,” Gun nodded. “Why weren’t you with them earlier at the party?”

“We’re… not really close. We grew apart I guess,” Off shrugged. “We used to be close when we were younger. I don’t know what happened. Maybe because I’m the only dude in the family? Honestly, I don’t know.”

“You should talk to them about this. If they’re the ones with the problem, they should speak it out. If it’s your fault, then maybe you can correct it. You guys shouldn’t be creating walls from each other if one made a mistake. You should try to talk it out first. You wouldn’t be able to go anywhere if you can’t communicate with each other properly. That causes the sudden wall between the four of you.” Off thought about what Gun said and he couldn’t help but to agree. He realized he made a mistake when he didn’t sort it out until the separation grew from him already that it feels normal for him.

“Great point. Though I can’t remember what did I do wrong. It’s like I woke up one day and we aren’t close anymore.”

“Is this the reason why you’re reluctant with people? Because you’re afraid they’ll leave you again without explanation?”

“I guess you got it right,” Off smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in it. 

“We really can’t blame people for why they act in a certain way. Sometimes the people around them deeply affects on who they are now. It’s always important to understand the person as well aside from the situation,” Gun smiled. Off nodded. “This doesn’t involve serous crimes, okay? Some are really just downright absurd. No humanity left inside of them,” Gun shook his head in disappointment. Off laughed.

“Talk to them about it, okay? It takes some time to gather enough courage but it’ll be worth it once you get the answer that you wanted. If doesn’t go well, I hope it does get well because I have no plan B,” Off shook his head at Gun’s silliness and a smile crept onto his lips. “It’s never too late for you reconcile with them,” Gun cheered. Off nodded and smiled.

“Thanks.”

“No worries! I got you, mate,” Gun jokingly said. Off shook his head once again, a smile escaping from his lips. “Ooh! Let’s go to the pool,” Gun stood up and grabbed Off’s wrist again. He lead the way downstairs, but Off took his hand back and rushed down, leaving Gun behind. Gun was confused but he followed suit anyway.

“What’s the rush?” Gun halfheartedly chuckled. 

“I wanted to see the pool already,” Off reasoned. Half lie. Though they had their own worlds, he didn’t wanna catch the attention of everybody. But he still wants to go to the pool. Gun lead the way back to the kitchen where the back door is. Gun excused himself from the big adults blocking the way. Off kept his head down low. When Gun opened the back door, the cool night breeze greeted them again but not as cold as it was upstairs. Gun sat on the edge of the pool and let his bare feet interact the cold water. Off did the same thing. He swung his feet in the surface of the water.

“Tell me about yourself!” Gun broke the silence.

“I have nothing much to say, to be honest.”

“That’s impossible. Even your favorites?”

“Oh, that.”

“Okay, let’s play 10 questions. I’ll ask you something, you answer honestly and then you can ask me whatever you like, too!” Gun beamed. The kid sure enjoys what he’s doing. Off shook his head and disbelief but agreed anyway.

“Okay, then,” Off gestured Gun to start.

“Hmm, okay,” Gun thought of a question thoroughly. He wanted his question to be good so his turn wouldn’t be wasted. “Ooh! What is the requirement to be friends with you?”

Off rolled his eyes and sighed. “There’s no requirement. As long as we both understand and respect each other and we have the same interests or we can relate to each other. If we don’t have any, then it’s also fine.”

“Oh, so you’re not picky. Okay, then.” Gun nodded. “It’s your turn now.”

“Why do you want me to like this party?”

“Well, this is my mom’s party and I love this party so much and it grew on me already. I want you to feel the same. But honestly it doesn’t even matter anymore because we all have preferences and I can’t force you to like something you don’t. Instead, I want to let you enjoy it in a way you don’t have to be surrounded with people you barely know,” Gun smiled with his dimples peaking. “My turn! Are you okay? Like how have you been doing so far? Are you enjoying the party?”

“Hey! That’s a lot of questions.”

“There’s only one answer to it anyway!”

“Well, let’s just say it’s okay,” Off said vaguely.

“That’s it? I asked you three questions and your answer is just ‘Well, let’s just say it’s okay?’ You’re unbelievable,” Gun throws his hands and shakes his head in disappointment.

“First of, it’s my turn now. Second, yes. Lastly, your ‘That’s it?’ question is counted in the 10 questions,” Gun’s jaw dropped and was dumbfounded. Off snickered at Gun’s reaction. “Um, what’s your favorite dish of your mom? Sorry, I can’t think of anything anymore.”

“You should’ve just punched me in the face ‘til I lie down and cough blood. That question’s too hard,” Gun pouted. Off laughed at Gun’s chosen words. “I really can’t pick. I love them all equally.”

“Okay. Your turn now.”

“What are your hobbies?”

“This isn’t grade school slam book but whatever,” Off chuckled. “Eat, sleep, watch, or read. Pineapples on pizza or no pineapples?”

“Pineapples on pizza!” Gun beamed. Gun loves any pizza flavor. Off shrugged because he’s clearly a no pineapples on pizza type of person. “What’s something you want to do again with your sisters?”

“Ooh. Um, we used to do karaoke when we were kids where we would just scream our lungs out but now we haven’t gotten an opportunity to do that so if there’s something I could do with them then this will be the first thing I’ll do,” Gun nodded. “Your favorite thing to do with your siblings?”

“I love all. But what I love the most is when we cuddle in one bed and watch movies together until we fall asleep while the TV is running,” Gun answered. “My turn. Can we be friends?”

“At this point I think you already consider me as a friend with or without me knowing,” Off chuckled.

“Hey! But that’s true though,” Gun laughed. “But I still want to ask you officially and for you to be aware, too.”

“Sure. I mean, what else can I say? Your mind’s made up already.”

“Oh, so you only agreed because I made up my mind already?” Gun frowned.

“No! I-”

“I was just kidding!” Gun laughed. “But seriously. Answer it genuinely. If you don’t like to, it’s fine.”

“If I agreed, then I already agreed. It’s totally fine. You did not coerce me. It’s my own and genuine decision,” Off said.

“Okay if you say so-”

“P’! Mom’s starting the games already!” First interrupted from the doorway of the back door. “They’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

The two got up and dried their feet before coming inside the house again. From the back door they can already hear the applause and shouts from the people in the living room. Godji was already hosting a game when they came in the scene. Off and Gun sat on the couch where some of Gun’s cousins are. They all watched the blindfolded adults playing a game. There were games meant for the youngsters and adults. The living room was very active with all the reactions coming from the audiences. Gun’s cousins like Tay and Puimek joined a guessing game. The two are smart and seeing them battle against each other was a real thrill. Gun was actively reacting to every single move the players make. He felt like he was the one playing. Off stayed seated while watching. He’d laugh and feel tension from time to time. 

“Do you want to join the game?” Gun asked Off when another game for kids were up. “The prizes are promising!”

“No, thanks,” Off shook his head and smiled bashfully. “I can ask my mom to just buy one for me, though.”

“But it’s more fun if you worked hard for it.” Gun smiled. “But if you don’t want to then it’s also fine. No pressure.” Gun continued cheering and paid attention to the game.

“How about you? Do you want to play?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t wanna leave you alone here.”

“Hey, don’t refrain yourself from having fun just because of one person. Go play if you want to, I won’t stop you because that’s what you like. I can handle myself here,” Off said.

“Are you sure?”

“If I say I’m fine, then I’m fine. Go have fun,” Off smiled genuinely.

“Okay, thank you! I won’t be gone for too long. You might run away,” Gun said jokingly. “I’ll go now.” Off nodded and Gun headed out to join the games. Off watched as Gun dominates every game he joined in. The kid had advantages when it comes to speed. He joined every speed involved games, which he won at most. Gun surely enjoyed the games. He was the happiest. 

The game portion went on for a whole hour.When it ended, Gun came back to the couch where he was earlier and sat beside Off. He shared the prizes he got with Off. Gun got some edible and usable prizes. Off refused when Gun shared the usable ones like pens and notebooks but took the edible ones without hesitation. They ate together while commenting about the happenings in the living room. Gun saw Tay talking to New in a corner. _Didn’t he say he looks ugly earlier_? Gun thought to himself. Gun also saw Ciize sleeping soundly in one of the couches while Bright and Win are looking after her from where he’s seated. Gun looked at the clock on their wall. It was just quarter to nine in the evening. Gun whispered a small ‘yes!’ and grinned in victory. 

“What are you smiling at?”

“My sister and I had a bet that if she sleeps before nine in the evening, she’d give me additional gift for Christmas. She’s now in dreamland,” Gun pointed at sleeping Ciize who’s on the other side of the living room.

Godji prepared a special performance of the Phunsawats. Some of Gun’s cousins like Puimek, Billkin, and Bright are asked to sing in solo. Some are asked to dance. This happens every year. They dance or sing to Christmas songs. Puimek in all white dress and red belt around her waist was up first and she’s singing Winter Wonderland. This goes for a whole 30 minutes with youngsters singing and dancing. For the finale, all of the Phunsawats will dance. They practiced this for the entirety of December before Christmas Eve. Off was startled when Gun was called on the stage.

“You’re performing as well?” Off’s eyes widened. Gun nodded and stood up. 

“I’ll be back again,” Gun bid Off a goodbye for a while and joined his relatives. Ciize’s peaceful sleep was interrupted because apparently she’s the main dancer and she’s the only one who knows the choreography like the back of her hand and her relatives need her the most. They all danced to the Mean Girl’s version of Jingle Bell Rock. Audiences were impressed that after they perform, the deafening applause greeted them. 

Gun came back to their place earlier right after they were done. Gun was flushed red when Off complimented his dancing skills. He hit Off’s arm while he hides the snicker escaping from his mouth. Godji’s now hosting a karaoke party. Anybody is allowed to join. Visitors, off-key singers or real singers, sang without hesitation. 

“Hey, since there’s a karaoke party, don’t you want to spend this time with your sisters?” Gun suggested to Off who’s looking fondly over the singing siblings at the moment. Gun looked for Off’s sisters in the crowd and saw them shuffling through the song book. “Look at them,” Gun pointed Off’s sisters to the latter. “Approach them. Start little by little.”

“You think so?” Gun smiled and nodded to Off. Off sighed and stood up. Gun mouthed a small ‘good luck’ which Off nodded at. Off went to his sisters’ way. From where Gun is, he can see how Off’s sisters looked up when Off called their attention. They mouthed something Gun can’t comprehend. Off sat down beside his sisters and joined them looking for a song to sing. Off pointed something which his sisters thought about before considering it. Baifern pushed the buttons to the number of their song. The four of them are now talking casually while waiting for their turn to sing. Gun felt relieved when he saw Off smile while he and his sisters are talking. Off turned his gaze to him. He smiled and gestured a like sign from his hand. Gun smiled and did a fighting gesture. Off nodded at him and proceeded talking to his sisters. Mild saw where Off was looking at earlier. Gun smiled and nodded to Mild when she turned to his way. Mild returned the smile and whispered something to Namtaan which they both snickered at. Gun dismissed the last thing and looked for his cousins and friends in the crowd. Gun saw Puimek and Jane sitting together in one couch while laughing. Chimon was having fun while talking to Nanon, First, and Ohm. The four were standing near the kitchen counter chatting while drinking their chose beverages. To his right was Film handing out a cookie and chitchatting to small Love. To his left was his mom talking to her friends with his dad’s arms around her shoulders. Gun was happy to see his loved ones having a fun time in their own way. Gun’s three friends jumped in the sit next to him.

“Yo!” The three of them wrapped their arms around Gun’s shoulders. The four of them talked about how their nights have been so far. Laughs and bickers came from their mouths. A party is nothing without the best people around you. Gun was beyond grateful to have these people surround him. He was really glad to be able to spend his Christmas Eve with them. It was the Adulkittiporn siblings’ turn to sing now and Gun and his friends watch them sing from where they are. They decided to sing Start of Something New from the movie High School Musical. Gun noticed how Off was trembling a bit at the start but halfway through the song he was now better than the beginning. He was enjoying his time being able to sing again with his sisters. The four of them were having the time of their lives singing. Gun was happy for Off.

**. . .**

It was 11:15 in the evening. Most of the visitors went home already. The only ones left in the Phunsawat residence are the ones who are included in the Secret Santa. All of them are gathered in the U-shaped couch. The youngest like Love and Film are now sleeping on the couch. Some are sleepy and some are still up and alive, like Gun. The exhaustion from the adults were evident in their almost closing eyelids. Godji started the exchanging of gifts so they can finish early and they’ll be able to rest already. Godji’s First’s Secret Santa. First’s the Secret Santa of Tay, so on and so forth. Gun got his gift for Chimon under the huge Christmas tree and returned to his seat. Baifern was called. She received her gift and talked to the microphone.

“I got Off. I’m his Secret Santa. Merry Christmas, bro! I love you. I hope you know that,” Off stood up to get his gift. Gun saw Off’s eyes glisten. _Was he tearing up?_ Gun pouted at the thought. He was emotional when it comes to his sisters. He loves them so much but he was shut down for the reason he didn’t know. But Gun was happy that they’re finally reconciling. Off composed himself and talked to the microphone.

“I am Gun’s Secret Santa,” Off said shyly onto the microphone. Gun chuckled and stood up to grab his gift.

“Thank you,” Gun said, almost a whisper.

“I don’t know you that well so I just bought what I think you can use. I apologize if you think it’s crappy. Merry Christmas,” Off smiled.

“Merry Christmas!” Off got off the center and Gun spoke onto the microphone. “I am Chimon’s Secret Santa. Merry Christmas, Mon!” Chimon received his gift from his brother and hugged him. Gun was mushy so he hugged him back and kissed his head. The exchanging of gifts continued until it was back to Godji and it was just a minute until the clock strikes 12. Some are knocked out on the couch. Some of Gun’s cousins went upstairs already. Alice and Arm’s family took off already because they still have a long way home. People bid their good nights and goodbyes. Gun saw his dad kiss his mom when the clock stroke 12. He remember they have a huge mistletoe hanging on their ceiling.

“P’Gun, I’ll just give your other gift tomorrow. I’m so sleepy. Good night,” Ciize barely had the energy to say that to his brother.

“Good night.” Gun kissed his sister’s forehead and took her upstairs to her room. “Merry Christmas, Ciize,” Gun kisses her head again. Gun tuck Ciize on her bed and turned off her lights. He went down to bid his goodbyes to the Adulkittiporn family on their way to head home.

“Thank you, Khun! It was nice to have you in the party. Good night and Merry Christmas to you and your family,” Gun said and embraced Jennie.

“Thank you, Gun! Good night and Merry Christmas to you, too.”

“Thank you, P’Namtaan, P’Baifern, and Mild. Merry Christmas! I hope to see you around the neighborhood,” Gun smiled and embraced them. The three happily bid their goodbyes and head out.

“Thank you for accompanying me last night,” Off smiled. 

“No worries. Thank you for the gift and Merry Christmas,” Gun waved. He tiptoes to kiss Off’s head which made of startle. Then he relaxes and hugs the smaller with one arm. 

“Merry Christmas. I’ll see you around,” Off waved and headed out. Gun greeted the rest of his family and gave them a kiss and a hug each. When he got upstairs and into his room, he laid on his bed and exhaustion only kicked in. He decided to open his presents first thing in the morning. The exhausted kid fell asleep in his bright red shirt and shorts.

**. . .**

December 25.

Gun woke up a little bit later than usual. It was almost noon. He quickly took a bath and dressed up so he can join the family for brunch. He wore a big red shirt and Christmas themed cotton pajama bottoms. Before he left his room, he grabs his gifts for his family and friends and the gift he received from Off last night and brought it downstairs with him. When he got down, he greets everybody ‘Merry Christmas’ in the jolliest way like he didn’t greet them last night. He embraced everybody and kissed them on their cheeks. He decided to join his family for brunch first before opening his gifts. Gun, alongside the whole Phunsawat family including his cousins and their parents, sat together in one long table to pay respect to the birth of Christ before munching down on the feast in front of them. They shared stories while eating. It was a cold Christmas afternoon turned warm with the moments and memories shared together.

When lunch was done, everybody exchanged gifts again. It was among the family only this time. They gave personal gifts to each other while gathered in the living room, sitting on a carpet filled with cushions and pillows, each holding a cup filled with hot chocolate that warms their whole body. They opened their gifts and thanked each other. Few complains and bickers were present but laughter and smiles outnumbered it and filled the entire room.

“P’Gun, here’s your gift. Merry Christmas!” Ciize held a maroon square shaped enveloped with small gold bow on the center. Gun hugged his sister and thanked her. Gun started opening the gift for him. When he unfolded the envelope top, Gun saw a picture. He took it out and looked at it closely. It was a polaroid photo of him and Off’s backs, sitting on the edge of the pool last night. Gun was looking at Off with his cat smile clearly showing. Gun’s jaw dropped and looked at Ciize in disbelief.

“How did you get this?” Gun sneered, still unbelievably looking at the picture.

“We, I mean our cousins and our siblings including P’Off’s, saw you guys interacting everywhere. When P’Billkin was asked to run an errand in the dirty kitchen, he saw you and P’Off talking there. P’Tay saw you guys climbing upstairs. When P’First was taking something from upstairs, he saw you guys talking there, too. I saw the three of them gathered in the kitchen talking about something so I butted in and heard everything. We didn’t know P’Off’s sisters were there so they heard everything. P’Namtaan saw the two of you talking in the living room. P’Mild said you guys were cute together and P’Baifern said she seldom hears P’Off laugh in their house but you made him. Your friends were there, too. We were all talking about your interaction which was odd for the Adulkittiporn sisters because they said P’Off rarely talks to anyone,” Gun’s mouth parted. He stared at Ciize in disbelief while she talks. “When mom asked me to give food to the caretakers at the backyard, I saw you guys talking in the pool. I gave the food first before getting mom’s polaroid and took a photo of you two. I also called the gang to witness your tranquil moment and when the games started we all left aside from P’First who called you two,” Ciize smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, geez. Were we really _everywhere?_ ” Gun worried because Off didn’t want attention but they seem to caught it anyway.

“Yes!” The Phunsawats in the background shouted in unison. Gun shook his head and chuckled while rubbing his head.

“Thank you I guess?” Gun said unsure. Ciize just shook her head and laughed. She walked away and Gun proceeded to open the rest of his gifts. He got an oversized graphic tee from Tay, a white Gucci sunglasses from his mom, an MP3 player from his dad, a stuff toy from Chimon, a baseball cap from First, and other things from his cousins. He opens Off’s gift for him. It was a cream oversized knitted sweater with huge Phineas and Ferb design on the center. He held it against his chest to measure the sweater on him. The hem of the sweater reached his thighs like a dress and the sleeves were longer than his arms. It was really big and Gun liked it. Gun asked his mom if he could go to his friends house to give their presents to which Godji agreed to. He picks up the sweater from Off and wore it on him before picking up his gifts to give and went outside. It was an afternoon and the sun was hiding behind the clouds and the breeze gave off winter vibes even though it doesn’t snow in Thailand. He knocked on Earth’s door, greeted him, and gave his gift. Same goes for Fluke. When he reached PP’s house, he knocked on their door and the door lets out PP in his matching Christmas themed pajamas and Santa hat. 

“Merry Christmas!” Gun greeted and gave PP a warm embrace. He gave his gift to him to which PP took.

“Merry Christmas, Gunnie! Wait, I’ll just get your gift,” PP went inside and rummaged for Gun’s gift. When he returned, he handed out a gift wrapped box to Gun.

“Thank you,” Gun took it and held it in between his body and right arm. “Also, sure.”

“Huh?”

“Sure. I’ll introduce you to Billkin.”

“Really?!” PP’ beamed as his eyes lit up like a fireplace on winter. He embraced Gun and the latter chuckled at PP’s reaction.

“I’ll introduce you only. It’s now up to Billkin if he will like you, too.”

“Yes. Yes. That’s more than enough. Thank you, Gunnie! I really hope you have a Merry Christmas.”

“It’s getting really cold. I’ll go now. Please send my greetings to your family and give these gifts,” Gun had gifts for PP’s parents, too. PP took it and they both bid their goodbyes. When Gun got home, he caught the Adulkittiporn family in the living room. He greeted them and went to his room to get their gifts. When he got down, he handed out small packets of gifts for them. He didn’t exactly know what they want so he just went for something they could use. He didn’t notice Off was looking at him and the gift he gave him Gun was now wearing. Mild whispered something to which Off dismissed and Mild laughed at his reaction.

“What brought you guys here?”

“Our feet,” Off deadpanned. Gun and Off’s sisters rolled their eyes at what Off said.

“Don’t mind him. Mom asked Khun Godji if she can cook lasagna for us and we’re just taking it,” Namtaan answered.

“Ooh, that’s why mom’s cooking lasagna again in the kitchen,” Gun concluded. “I hope you guys will like my gifts for you. I didn’t know what you guys wanted so I just went for something I think you can use.”

“Thank you, Gun! We’ll surely love that,” Baifern smiled. The Adulkittiporn family gave small gifts for them, too. When Baifern and Namtaan were called to the kitchen, Mild and Off were left in the living room with Gun. Mild being Mild, she excused herself to follow her sisters in the kitchen just so she can leave the two alone. The two just stood there in silence for a few minutes.

“Merry Christmas,” Off broke the silence. “I didn’t think the recipient of my gift would be that small so I’m sorry if my gift was a bit big. I can return it to the store so they can change the size.”

Gun rolled his eyes when Off mentioned the word ‘small’. “It’s fine. I like it,” Gun twirled around as the hem of the big sweater sways. He flapped his sweater paws like a bird. Off shook his head at Gun’s silliness. The women of the Adulkittiporn family came out of the kitchen with 2 trays of freshly baked lasagna on their hands. Off went to help them but they refused and said it was fine. Off wanted to be a gentleman but his sisters clearly proved they’re capable without his help so he let them be. 

“Thank you for the lasagna, Godji. We’ll head out now. Merry Christmas again!” Jennie said and her children followed her outside. The four children bid their goodbyes as well and head out. 

Gun spent the rest of the Christmas with his family in the living room, watching and talking, with blankets wrapped around them for warmth. All in all it was really a merry Christmas for Gun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reaching this far. :> Let me know which scenes did you like and which ones are your favorite.


	3. Off

It was in the middle of November when their family decided to move out. All were fine with moving out. In fact, they _really_ wanted to move out already. An opportunity kicked in and the family took it like there’s no tomorrow. To Jennie’s relief, she found a new decent place immediately. They moved out of their house as soon as possible because there was no point in staying. When they arrived in their new home, they spent the whole month in their house organizing. Moving out was draining for the family. 

It was a gloomy morning when someone rang the doorbell. Off was on the way to his room when the sudden sound called him. There was no one to open the door so Off initiated. His mom was in the backyard cleaning something while his sisters are in their respective rooms. Off answered the door and a woman in white with a casserole on her hands greeted him. Off did a wai in which the woman just bowed to as response due to occupied hands. 

“Good morning, Nong! Is your mom here?” Off nodded and opened the gates for the lady to come in.

“She’s at the back. Would you like to come in first while I call for her?”

“No worries, Nong. I just dropped by to give this food I cooked to welcome your family in our neighborhood.”

“Thank you, Khun-”

“Godji?” Jennie, Off’s mom, came out of the front door with dirty gloves still on her hands.

“Jennie! I didn’t know you’ll be the one moving in!” Godji exclaimed. Off saw the moist out of the casserole and the dish inside seemed to still be hot. Off asked to take the casserole from Godji to bring inside in which Godji nodded to while Jennie and her are conversing. 

“It’s been a long time since we last saw each other. Come in!” The three got in and the two ladies sat on the couch in the living room to catch up with their lives years after they parted in high school.

“How many kids do you have?”

“I have four. Three girls and one boy. My youngest are twins.”

“That’s lovely! My kids will be delighted to hear about this.”

Off left them with snacks and drinks before going back to his room. He passed by his sister who’s going downstairs. Off got used to the fact of being ignored by his sisters but he still doesn’t get why. He keeps shrugging it off but he knows deep inside it was excruciating that when the thought creeps into his mind, he cries himself to sleep while thinking about it and move on the next day. It created a deep hole in his heart that left a heavy feeling lingering inside him. He feels deeply guilty for the reason he had no idea about. Questions circle in his mind every time they get the chance to. Admit it or not, it keeps him awake late at night almost every time.

(center> **. . .**

“We’ll drop by Godji’s house later. They invited us to their Christmas party on the 24th.”

The family’s on the way to the mall to buy some supplies for their house. A month was not enough for them to be finally done with the arrangement of their house. Off sat quietly in the car while his sisters are jamming to the songs playing on the radio. A blank look was on his face while looking at the road they’re passing by.

“Who’s Godji, mom?” Namtaan, the oldest in the Adulkittiporn siblings, asked from the passenger seat.

“A friend from high school who I met again after decades as a neighbor,” Jennie answered, eyes still on the road. The jamming in the car continued with Jennie casually singing to the songs, too. His twin and older sister who he got stuck with at the back of the car sang too loudly to Off’s liking causing him to plug in his earphones on his phone and ears. He keeps his eyes shut on the way to the mall. 

During shopping, Off stayed behind to push the cart while his three sisters are ahead of him, picking which items would most likely to look good in their home. The whole time they were at the mall, Off was 90% jealous and 10% bored. He was salty about the bond he wasn’t in. He shrugged it off as he doesn’t want anything about their family to go down further. He just played along with what they told him to do. 

The sun was down when they got to Godji’s house. Off didn’t do much from the trip to the mall but he was mentally exhausted. He kept himself cool and composed. He kept a straight look on his face but still enough to look polite. When they got inside, he saw a lot of people, mostly kids around his age, gathered in the living room. Off suddenly froze. He was overwhelmed with the sight of a lot of people. People whom he knows he wants to be friends with but too scared to interact with as he keeps on thinking about them leaving him halfway the friendship. He doesn’t want another set of people keeping him up at night thinking what could he done wrong. So he just chose to distance himself and stayed behind while his mother led the way. The kids around his age greeted him. He was startled that he didn’t know how to respond. He just gave a reserved smile and small nod to them. _They seem really fun to be with_ , Off thought. But he kept that thought on the back of his head to restrict himself. _Once is enough_. Godji immediately let them pick names from the box and they bid goodbyes right after picking. They got inside the car again to go to the last errand for the day. Off only got the chance to see who he got when he got in his sit.

_Gun._

_Who could that be?_ He thought to himself. _I’ll surely have a hard time picking a gift for them._

**. . .**

Another day has come for them to shop again. This time it’s for last minute Christmas shopping. They took time to finally finish moving in the house that they have to fit the last minute Christmas shopping in a day.

“I’ll give you enough money each to shop for your own gifts. We have lots to buy so we need to separate. You guys have your own phones, right? Update me from time to time, okay? Just follow the things I wrote on the list. Call me if you have questions. You guys are old enough so I trust you to do all of these alone. I’ll be in the department store if you’re done. Take care, okay? I love you all,” Jennie gathered his children in a one huge embrace and kisses the top of their heads each. Off’s sisters took off while Off stayed to ask a question.

“Mom, do you know who Gun is?”

“Oh, he’s Godji’s son. Why?”

“Have you seen him? What does he look like? I got him for Secret Santa and I don’t know what to give him.”

“I haven’t seen him yet. Maybe just get him something he would normally use even if it’s not what he likes because what do we know about what he likes, right? It’s better to give him something he could actually use instead of guessing what he likes. Or you can just give him a good temporary gift then give another one when you finally get to know him.”

“Okay. Thanks, mom,” Off bid goodbyes and proceeded to the errand he got tasked to do. He bought the ones on the list his mom made before proceeding to his gifts. He took no time to buy all off the list but took the longest on the gifts. They don’t usually buy gifts for each other but Off thought of finally giving one to his family. Off bought gifts he thinks his sisters like after secretly observing them from afar. He remembers Baifern’s love for coats so he bought one for her, pajama set for Mild because Mild has been addicted to it recently, and an academic book for Namtaan since she’s been busy with her university these days. He also got a dress for his mom. He last looked for a gift for Gun. To buy clothes is the first thing he thought of when his mom told him to buy something a person would normally use. Everybody uses clothes so he’s sure it wouldn’t go to waste. He passed by a shop with good graphic tees and and sweaters. He checked some graphic tees. Some were good but most of the ones he saw seems to not fit Gun’s image in his mind. He was about to leave the store when he got to check the last clothing rack and saw a cute knitted sweater. The sweater doesn’t look like a grandma sweater. It looked vintage even though it has a cartoon design from his decade. The sweater seemed to fit in the image of Gun in his head. He got the hanger off the rack and headed to the counter. He got a bigger size just in case Gun’s big. _At least if it’s big you can still wear it_ , he thought. 

When Off was done, he immediately went to the department store and called his mom to know her whereabouts. When they were all gathered, they all headed to the parking to go home. Since the family’s too exhausted from a long day, they didn’t stop by to get dinner and just got take out in a drive thru instead. While they were eating respectively in their seats, they were chitchatting. 

“Who did you get for Secret Santa?” Jennie asked while Namtaan, the resident passenger in the passenger seat, feeds her with fries and burger.

“I got Tay. I don’t know who they are so I just got a good gender neutral shirt,” Mild laughed.

“I don’t know who I got too so I just got a hoodie for them,” Namtaan chuckled while putting the burger in her mouth.

Off and Baifern stayed quiet. Off ate his food in peace while staring at the cars passing by. Off was thankful that the trip home was short. When they got in their house, Off helped in bringing the bags inside the house and arranging it before jumping onto his bed out of exhaustion. He fell asleep abruptly.

**. . .**

December 25.

Off woke up thinking ‘I don’t wanna be in the party.’ Off doesn’t want to leave his room nor interact with anybody. Off was feeling anxious. Variety of feelings started to creep right through him. He doesn’t like the thought of being surrounded with strangers. He doesn’t understand what he’s feeling exactly because it all decided to make him feel it at the same time. He was overclouded with nervousness.

He woke up really early, but he laid in his bed until afternoon, even skipping breakfast. The dislike in coming to the party was overpowering. It took him sometime before getting the energy to get out of bed, but only to tell his mom that he wouldn’t be coming. Off stormed out of his room to tell the big news but when he got midway downstairs, he saw his sisters in the living room. Saying they all seemed to be stoked was an understatement. They were already prepared for the party later. Even his mom who just got into the scene with his sisters. They all seemed to be very enthusiastic about the party later. Off smiled. He was happy they were happy even if it’s not the case for him. They seem to really enjoy already. Off didn’t want to be a party pooper so he got down to get his brunch. While eating, a small smile escaped from his lips. His original plan was completely forgotten.

After brunch, he went to his room instantly to prepare. He took a bath and got in his emerald green button down shirt tucked in a cream-colored slacks. When he got his gift for Gun, he realized Gun wouldn’t have a gift to receive from the party. It was selfish of him to consider only his feelings. He felt guilty and stupid for thinking about it. He was glad about his sudden change of mind. He decided to really try the party. _It wouldn’t hurt_ , he convinced himself.

When they got in the Phunsawat residence, he was once again overwhelmed with the amount of strangers in one room. The chatters were nightmare to his ears. The amount of people talking at the same time pained his ears. The moment they got inside, they instantly parted ways to satisfy each other’s interests. Jennie went to Godji while Off’s sisters went around the house. Off was left in the middle of the sea of strangers. Off felt suffocated. It was leaving a heavy feeling in his chest that he wanted to cry out. He tried his best to be able to get out of the scene and ensconce himself in a corner. When he found an empty seat away from people, he grabbed the chance as fast as he could and immediately claimed the seat as his territory. Hours passed by and he just sat there. He was scared but he kept it deep inside him. He fiddled with his hands for hours with his head down, completely ignoring everything. Nothing could ever grab his attention. He stayed like that for hours.

Until one boy had the guts to come up to him. 

“Hi! I’m Gun,” The boy extended his hands and introduced himself to Off. Off only stared at the boy and his hands as he was startled. His mind was nothing but blank. One thing’s for sure, though. His trust issues were once again awakened by the sudden interest in him. But he still have some manners left in him to respond even though it took him some time to do so. Off slowly extended his arm and said his name in faintest voice. Once Gun was done clasping their hands, Off took his hand back and slowly curled up in his seat, thinking the boy would leave him once and for all. But Off had all the luck allergic to him because the boy sat on the couch next to his seat and asked him more questions. Off had no choice but to answer it. While Gun was talking, Off realized that it’s the boy who he keeps on seeing roaming around the room like a candidate running for politics. And he seems to know everybody, too. Sitting in one corner for hours bored Off so he secretly observed people around him. Gun just keeps on appearing everywhere Off discreetly looks at. The name Gun was familiar to him, too. That was when he also realized that Gun’s also the one he got for Secret Santa.

Gun offered a bowl of finger food to him. Off just noticed how his stomach felt hollow. He only ate once so far today and his brunch wasn’t enough. Off didn’t want his ego to go further so just grabbed one from the bowl. 

“I wanna go home,” Off said.

“But… what if I make _this_ home?” Gun suggested. Off turned his gaze towards the boy. He noticed how the kid was planning something due to the small grin escaping from his lips. Off thought of how what Gun was thinking is dangerous for him. Too treacherous that he might have to sacrifice years of sleepless nights once again.

“Isn’t this your home already?” Off could only kid at the situation. But deep inside him he was shaking. His walls were shaking. He was too soft to willingly break down the walls for something he have been yearning for years. He knows how vulnerable he is to this situation. 

“Dummy. What if I make this whole set up your home?” Gun said. Off got his point but he was skeptical about it. A part of him can feel himself slowly giving in and another part was reminding him of the consequences he might face again all alone. It took him sometime to respond.

“If you can, then sure,” Off ended up saying. _He can do whatever he wants. All I have to do is to refrain myself from being affected by it_ , he thought. Off knows the chances of him falling in that hole again is high but he also knows that there’s a remaining chance that he won’t so he held on to it. He doesn’t want to admit it but a part of him wants it that he just ended up giving in.

Gun’s cat smile appeared on his face. Off weirdly looked at Gun and shook his head in the kid’s determination. When Gun turned around to lead the way towards a kitchen, a small smile escaped from Off’s lips. He thought of ditching Gun and just run away from him but he knows he wants it anyway. He’s slowly giving into his fears without the knowledge of it.

The next hour was just Off nestling in the pleasure of good food with Gun watching him. Off ate everything he could while Gun stood by him for the rest of the hour. When Off was done resting from eating too much, Gun asked questions as he was curious about the new guy he was going to make friends with. Off was slowly opening up without knowing it. Gun was persistent but when he feels like Off isn’t comfortable, he stops and respects Off. Gun had plans in his mind and one of it was to tour Off in their house. Off denied but agreed in the end. The two sides of him constantly fights but he always ends up following what he wants to do anyway.

_I don’t wanna go through the same thing ever again. I just want to be left alone like the usual. But is it wrong if I say I long for the feeling of meeting new people? The relief and safe haven feeling of having someone to talk to when everything seems to fall apart? The joy of getting to hear new experiences and learning new things? The sound of a foreign voice that you seem to gradually find as music in your ears? Can I have a day without any of the bad possibilities bothering me like a fly circling to my food? I just want to feel it again_ , Off thought to himself when Gun asked him if he’s alright because he wanted to take him somewhere. But Off was in denial. He turned down Gun’s offer with the realization that he’s already giving in too much. He’s now trying to mend the cracks on his wall but it was like catching water with a strainer. The damage was already done. But Gun was persistent, too. Gun proved himself to Off that he wasn’t bad in any way. Gun left Off in his seat while he looks for Off’s mom to ask for permission. _How can I not give in when he’s showing things I’ve always wanted to see?_ It was making it harder for Off to not fall into the hole again. So when Gun had the approval of Off’s mom, Off gave in again. He’s a sucker. He completely gave in. All those years to build up the walls and complete denial of everything all vanished in an instant. Off couldn’t care about anything else. All he knows is that he’s been looking for it.

Off was attentive while Gun’s taking him on a tour around their house and telling variant stories from time to time. He was quiet but he was listening. Off liked how he can imagine every scenario Gun tells. It was as if Gun was letting him go in the time when the events happened. The details were on point. He even pointed out a crack on a wall and explained the story behind it. Off can see how Gun enjoys what he’s doing because of the way his eyes lit up while mentioning about different stories. He has stories to tell everywhere. He has stories to tell for every corner of the house. He never thought Gun has stories behind simple furniture and household items as well. He noticed how the kid pays attention a lot.

Admit it or not, Off was enjoying. He didn’t even realize how he was laughing at lame jokes and chuckling at things he find funny. Off completely forgotten the fact that he didn’t like parties. Gun took him to places where there was no one else but them. Gun was true to his words when he said he was taking Off away from the party. Off found comfort with a stranger in a strange place. He haven’t had the feeling for a long time. Everything gives back the feeling he lost for years. He was more than happy to be able to feel it again. Off found himself laughing at things he don’t usually laugh to. No- he found himself being able to laugh carelessly again. It was like a bone stuck in him that he finally got out. It was liberating and he liked it more than anything.

They stayed in the balcony for a while. Gun asked questions and Off answered.

“Why weren’t you with them earlier at the party?” Gun asked Off about his sisters.

“We’re… not really close. We grew apart I guess. We used to be close when we were younger. I don’t know what happened. Maybe because I’m the only dude in the family? Honestly, I don’t know,” Off had no idea. He was completely clueless. It made it hard for him to confront them. He didn’t know where to start. He grew up bashful and afraid of being the butt of the joke that he decided to keep everything to himself. It was really hard for him to be left without an explanation because he didn’t know how he should respond to it. He just went with the flow until it grew on him. Even if what if questions kept him up at night all the time, he just didn’t know how to do it that he just lets them haunt him even if it was hurting him.

“You should talk to them about this. If they’re the ones with the problem, they should speak it out. If it’s your fault, then maybe you can correct it. You guys shouldn’t be creating walls from each other if one made a mistake. You should try to talk it out first. You wouldn’t be able to go anywhere if you can’t communicate with each other properly. That causes the sudden wall between the four of you.”

Off thought about what Gun said and he couldn’t help but to agree. He realized he made a mistake when he didn’t sort it out until the separation grew from him already that it feels normal for him. He’d like to thank Gun for making him realize things. It was good to have someone look at the problem in a different perspective because sometimes even if we’re in the situation itself, there are some things we cannot see and only people could point it out for us to know. Off was glad Gun saw something he wasn’t able to see.

“Is this the reason why you’re reluctant with people? Because you’re afraid they’ll leave you again without explanation?”

He got it there, Off thought. He smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in it. One day everything’s all fine then the next day you were left without nothing. He wasn’t given a warning so he could prepare for it. It was just one blob of surprise thrown straight at Off’s face. With Off’s difficulty in approaching people first, the situation was even harder for him to find a way out. 

“Talk to them about it, okay? It takes some time to gather enough courage but it’ll be worth it once you get the answer that you wanted. If doesn’t go well, I hope it does get well because I have no plan B,” Off shook his head at Gun’s silliness and a smile crept onto his lips. “It’s never too late for you reconcile with them,” Gun cheered. Off nodded and smiled.

Off felt more lighter when he finally got someone to talk about the thing that bothers him so much. It was like someone pulled him up in the shore when he was drowning in the sea. It was relieving. He was glad about Gun’s insights that he found helpful in the situation. He promised to finally do it some time. Gun was such a blessing. 

The two went to the pool and played a little game of exchanging questions and answers. They got to know more about each other. It wasn’t much but it was still a progress. They stayed there until they were called inside. Gun was still beside Off the whole time. Games were starting and Gun was engaging in the game by cheering the competitors. He jumped up and down if the game was so tight. Off could only stare at him and chuckle sometimes. _He’s so hyper_ , Off thought to himself. He realized how Gun probably wanted to join the games so bad. Off thought of the things Gun did for him that night. Off noticed how the type of person like Gun would normally be in different places with people surrounding them, but Gun did not experience it that night. He was basically just beside Off the whole time. It was no problem for the kid but Off felt guilty. He deprived Gun from his actual environment. Off felt bad doubting Gun earlier when all the kid do was accompany him even if he was literally deprived of his happiness. Gun stood by him the whole night and Off could only doubt and feel sketchy about him. He wanted to pay back Gun for all the things he did for him that night. 

“Do you want to play?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t wanna leave you alone here.”

“Hey, don’t refrain yourself from having fun just because of one person. Go play if you want to, I won’t stop you because that’s what you like. I can handle myself here,” Off said.

“Are you sure?”

“If I say I’m fine, then I’m fine. Go have fun,” Off smiled genuinely. He wanted Gun to have fun in a way he’s normally having fun with. Gun sacrificed the night he’s been looking forward to every year. Off wanted Gun to at least have fun in a way he wants to. He also didn’t wanna be that person who would deprive someone their own fun just because of them. He didn’t wanna force Gun to stay in an environment he’s not used to. It’s torture to the both of them. Besides, Off can handle himself. He wasn’t suffocating that much by the sight of a crowded place. He was now better than earlier. And that was thanks to Gun.

“Hey, since there’s a karaoke party, don’t you want to spend this time with your sisters?” Gun suggested to Off who’s looking fondly over the singing siblings at the moment. Gun got back from the games already. Gun looked for Off’s sisters in the crowd and saw them shuffling through the song book. “Look at them,” Gun pointed Off’s sisters to the latter. “Approach them. Start little by little.”

“You think so?” Gun smiled and nodded to Off. Off sighed and stood up. Off was nervous and really shy about it but it was now or never. He had to make a risk to move forward. It was now his chance to finally be able to talk to them again. He wanted to bring back the bond they used to have when they were kids. 

Gun mouthed a small ‘good luck’ which Off nodded at. Off liked how supportive Gun is. Off went to the other side of the living room where his sisters are. His sisters looked up when Off called their attention. 

“Can I join you?” Off asked. He was certain he was shaking. For years, it’s gonna be the first time he’d approach his sisters like this again. 

“Sure. Why not?” Baifern nodded and smiled at him. Off sat down between Mild and Baifern and joined them to look for a song to sing. 

“What song should we sing?” Namtaan asked. Baifern pointed something to which Mild shook her head to.

“That’s too high!” They proceeded shuffling through the book of songs, trying to look for songs that could suit them all.

“How about Start of Something New?” Off suggested. He remembered their childhood days where they’d sing High School Musical songs at the top of their lungs. It was their jam. The three girls went silent for a while. Off’s heart beat raced. There was that silent that haunted him for years again.

“That’s actually good. Why didn’t we think of that?” Mild said as a matter of fact. Off sighed in relief. He thought he’d be ignored and left hanging once again. 

“Right,” Baifern pushed the buttons to the number of their song. The four of them are now talking casually while waiting for their turn to sing. 

“I missed High School Musical so much. Can we do a movie marathon?” Mild pouted.

“We literally just did a High School Musical marathon last week. What do you mean?” Namtaan said, a confused look on her face was evident. Off can’t help but to chuckle. They did just have a marathon last week in their living room. He was secretly watching from upstairs then he’d casually go downstairs to pretend to eat but actually he just wants to watch the movie nearer.

Off spent that time with his sisters. They talked while waiting for their turn to sing. Off felt out of place sometimes but he’d try his best to engage himself because he just miss them so much. It wasn’t hard because his sisters were really open anyway. When Off went silent, they’d change topics that Off can relate to. When it was their turn to sing, Off set aside his shyness so he can enjoy his time with his sisters. He didn’t want anything to ruin it that he was willing to sacrifice his dignity even if there was a lot of people who could possibly hear them sing off-key.

It was almost midnight when the party ended and that’s when they actually get to exchange gifts. Almost everyone’s sleepy if not asleep. It was now Baifern’s turn to speak on the microphone.   
“I got Off. I’m his Secret Santa. Merry Christmas, bro! I love you. I hope you know that,” Off was shocked but he stood up to get his gift. He felt his eyes tearing up and his nose clogging. Just hearing something from his sisters makes him so mushy. He was emotional when it comes to his sisters. He loves them so much. Now that they’re finally reconciling makes him even more sentimental. He stopped from thinking anything related to his sisters or else he’ll end up crying in front of everybody. He blinked the tears away and grabbed his gift. It was now his turn to give his gift to Gun. 

“I am Gun’s Secret Santa,” Off said shyly onto the microphone. Gun chuckled and stood up to grab his gift.

“Thank you,” Gun said to Off, almost a whisper.

“I don’t know you that well so I just bought what I think you can use. I apologize if you think it’s crappy. Merry Christmas,” Off smiled. He didn’t even know who Gun is when he bought the gift. It’s even more embarrassing to know that he’s now close with him after buying him a crappy gift. He just bought whatever he think was suitable and useful. Off just hoped that Gun will like it. 

When they were about to leave, Gun bid them one last goodbye. Off was startled when Gun tiptoed to kiss his head since he was taller than him. He found it cute and it showed how actually small Gun is. When he had a chance, he side hugged Gun. He was more than thankful to found a friend like him.

**. . .**

When they all got home, Off wasn’t exhausted yet to lie down in bed and fall asleep abruptly. The rest of his family were too exhausted that they stormed straight into their rooms. He took that time to open the gift he got from his sister. It was technically Christmas already so he’s now allowed to open it. He sat on the floor of his room and ruined the gift wrapper. A teal sweater greeted him. Off likes to wear sweaters in a cold night. He wears one all the time when sleeping. It’s funny how she can still remember it, he thought. When he unfolded the sweater, a cream-colored paper fell on the floor. He took it and opened it. At first, he thought it was just a simple greeting card. But it was actually a letter. A long one. Off took no time in deciding to read it.

_  
Hey, bro!_

_Merry Christmas! I know we haven’t talked in a while and believe it or not, it pained me. When I got your name in for Secret Santa, I took it as an opportunity to write you a letter and finally get to talk to you._

_I wanna say I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry for ignoring you for years. I didn’t know what gotten into me, us, when we collectively agreed (without talking) to not talk to you. You reminded us of dad so much. Which we shouldn’t have thought of because you are so far from dad. You are such a great person. I can’t believe we once compared you to dad. God, that was so stupid. I’m really sorry. I’m also sorry how we never talked to you about this. All those years treating you like air in the house made us so embarrassed that we didn’t have the guts to talk to you. I’m sorry for never coming to you first. It kills me to see you being distant to others because of us. You’ve lost so many opportunities because of us. We regretted every single thing. I’m sorry for all those sleepless nights. I cry myself to sleep knowing I can hear your sobs from my room and I had no idea how to stop it. I am sorry we weren’t the one there to talk to you about your insights. I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for only saying sorry right now._

_I missed you every single day. How I wish we can bring back the memories we had back then. All those karaoke parties, the playroom, the late night cartoons, everything. Can we do that again, please? WIll you allow us to be your sisters again? I won’t ask for forgiveness and answer right now. I want you to take your time. The years you’ve waited in sorrow is nothing compared to what we should wait for._

_We missed you every single day. Love you, lil bro._

_\- P’Bai (co-written by Mild and P’Namtaan)  
_

Off didn’t realize how wet his face was from his own tears. He sat there in silence, biting his lips to stop the sobs from escaping. He didn’t hear his door opening. He was just shocked when felt the warmth of the arms embracing from the back. He turned around and saw his sisters in tears, too. Off turned around to them to get a full view and his sisters took it as a chance to hug him the tightest in a more comfortable position. Off tears run down like an open faucet, he wasn’t able to stop his sobs now. He returned their embrace. It feels good to feel home in your arms again. The feeling was serene and smooth. He was finally in repose.

The whole night was both bad and good for Off. It was bad because he had to attend a party which is one of the things he dislikes but it was also good because he learned to like the party despite not being in the actual party itself. He also got to reconcile with his sisters again. It was more than Off could ever wish for this Christmas. Off thought Gun was kind enough to leave everything behind him just so he can feel comfortable. Off felt like tearing up at the thought. Off appreciated every single thing Gun did to him to make him comfortable as much as possible in an environment he never wanted to mess up with. He appreciated Gun’s enthusiasm in making him and his sisters reconcile. He was nothing but supportive. Gun indeed made him feel home for a while. It was just a spur of the moment but Off felt like it was long enough to compensate the years deprived of the home he was yearning for. Gun made him feel home in a night.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. I update whenever I think I can. Please let me know what you think so far! Comments are very much appreciated.


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